I used to make it my “mission” to convince people I could tell didn’t like me to like me. Yes, you read that correctly. 🤦♀️ You know when you meet someone and you can just tell they 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 do not like you? Well, that bothered me, and so I would try over time to change their minds (through intentional actions, conversations, etc.). That’s not to say my actions and words weren’t genuine; they were. My focus on them however was unhealthy. Usually, my efforts “worked,” but ultimately, I would find myself letting that person down or find that person letting me down, so clearly, what I was doing wasn’t 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 working... The sad thing is, I didn’t fully realize I was doing it, i.e. trying to change their minds, nor how unhealthy it was (for both parties). At the end of the day, some people aren’t going to like me, and some people will change their minds about me, both positively and negatively. Nonetheless, it’s not my job to decide people’s feelings about me as I now realize doing so is more selfish and manipulative than thoughtful and considerate.
Recently, I have been trying to refocus my energies on enjoying the moment and being around those where the company is mutually appreciated, and it’s been nice. It feels [unsurprisingly] a lot less exhausting and just more natural and fun.
Do you get bothered when you can tell how much someone doesn’t like you, e.g. when you first meet them or feel like they don’t “know” you yet? And if so, how do you deal with those feelings of discomfort? I’m genuinely curious as I’m still trying to learn how to best deal with my own uncomfortable feelings at times.